Look I’m Martha Fing Stewart….

I am just going to come right out and say it: I am a plant killer…

History has shown that house plants and I just don’t mix. Ever since moving out on my own I have bought many plants, thinking I can for sure keep at least one alive, but I have had no such luck. I have killed like 4 cacti at this point… How in the hell do you kill a cactus? Don’t you just have to set it in the sunlight and water it like once a month?

At this point I’m not sure if they are committing suicide because I have failed to provide them with an adequate living environment or if it’s because I sometimes totally forget I have plants and they don’t get watered for about a week. (Thank god I don’t have a child because at this point it wouldn’t stand a chance).

Regardless of the many many dumpster plant funerals, I decided that this spring/summer I would start an herb and vegetable garden on my small apartment deck. So off I went to home depot, returning with a variety of different herbs, pepper plants, a tomato plant, and a strawberry plant. Along with tons of dirt and pots for all these new plants.

Note: I have no idea why I got a strawberry plant other than it looked cute and the idea of growing my own strawberries sounded pretty damn cool. However, I will be shocked if I actually get any fruit from this plant, I fully expect an early death. 

Anyway, I got everything planted in their own cute little individuals pots and I have to say it was quite fun. I never really got gardening; like why would someone put so much time into something that was going to die in a few months, only to redo it again each year. However, now I can see what all the excitement is all about. I come home from work each day to water my plants and eagerly check to see if I have any veggies yet.

Happy to report that I have spotted two tomatoes growing and much to my surprise a strawberry!

I am hopeful that these plant will not meet the unfortunate fate that all of my previous house plants have met before then end of summer. In the meantime I am anxiously awaiting my first harvest!

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First attempt at a garden


One thought on “Look I’m Martha Fing Stewart….

  1. Well done!
    I’m a plant-killer too. (Luckily I’m better with kids. I think it’s because they let you know when they need feeding and watering, whereas plants just go all passive-aggressive and wilt).
    I’m dreading a visit from a friend today. She’s very much in touch with her spiritual side and, whilst cleansing my house of spirits (which I’m still not sure I believe in, although the creepy ‘footsteps’ over the baby monitor have stopped as a result) she advised me to have a sage plant by my sink due to the negative energy. ‘Make sure it doesn’t die,’ she told me.
    It looked lovely for about 3 weeks. But the kitchen gets zero light, so yesterday it died. I’m now wondering where I can get a replacement from before 9.30 this morning!!! And it’s a wonder I slept last night for fear of waking in the small hours to scenes from Poltergeist!
    Although, actually, I haven’t been downstairs yet, so maybe I’ll find all the chairs moved. Eeek! OMG! I wish I had green fingers!

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