The Incident of the Pantless Co-Worker

undiesI will be one of the first ones to say that pants are complete BS… Most pants are uncomfortable, are very constricting, and certainly do not allow for optimal relaxation. When given the choice, I will take leggings over jeans any day. (I do not consider leggings to be pants; they are a different category all together since they are so comfortable).

Since it is obviously not socially acceptable to walk around out in public sans pants, I do actually wear them, especially when it is too cold for skirts or dresses. However, when I am at home it’s pretty much fact that I am either curled up in a baggy pair of sweats (also not considered pants) or just chilling in my underwear. As soon as I step in my front door, boom off come the pants!

That being said I am also a strong advocate for keeping naughty areas covered at all times whilst out in public. I do not want to see someones saggy ass, or cleavage that is so far out there that it looks like it is going to strangle the girl at any moment. Also, ladies (or maybe some men) if you are going to wear leggings makes sure that they are the thick kind and are not see through. No one wants to be at the store shopping for dinner and then all of a sudden get flashed by a full moon.

moon

 

Now, on to the scary part of this story….

 

At work there was another writer that used to work there, who was a little bit on the crazy side. This particular individual was a women who was in her early 40’s and somewhat of an airhead. One day at work I happened to look up right as this woman was walking over to sit down at her desk and I noticed that not only was she not wearing pants, but the “long” shirt she was wearing in no way covered her ass. The only thing between me and her pale white ass was a thin and VERY MUCH see through pair of tights. I am not sure if she really didn’t know that people could see her ass, or if she did and just didn’t care. (You would think that she would have felt some sort of breeze?)

In case there is some confusion here, let me make this clear: TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!

But it gets worse…

A little bit later she came over to my desk to talk to me about some website we were working on and for whatever reason, as I am sitting in my desk chair, she sits down on the floor in front of me Indian Style. I of course look down to speak with her and this time I am met by something far worse than a pale, saggy moon. This time ladies and gentleman I am greeted by her no no square, her naughty zone, her va-jj… (Let me tell you, this is not something you can easily erase from your mind. Once it happens there is no unseeing it). There are no words to explain what was going on inside my head at this moment. Shock? Horror? Whatever it was I can assure you that it was in no way a pleasant experience.

So please, I urge you, make sure that if  you are going to go out in public make sure that you are fully covered. No one wants to go through an incident like the one mentioned above. If you want to lay around naked in your home, by all means go for it. Just be sure to keep that shit to yourself, no matter how good you think you look…

Note: For those of you that may be thinking that it was mean not to tell her we could see through her “pants”, we actually did pull her aside to make her aware of this situation once we knew what we were dealing with.

 

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2 thoughts on “The Incident of the Pantless Co-Worker

  1. She wasn’t Britney Spears mum was she??! Why would you want the world to see your v-jay-jay? Eew.
    What did she say when you told her? Was it intentional or did she really not realise?

  2. Haha I have no idea why anyone would want to put themselves on display like that. When we told her she acted completely mortified so I am hoping she really didn’t realize

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