Most Sundays you can find me curled up on the couch, watching mindless television shows, drifting in and out of sleep. I may get up long enough to order a pizza or walk my dog to the back courtyard, but then I head straight back to the couch.
I don’t do my laundry that has slowly piled up throughout the week. I don’t wash the small pile of dishes. I definitely don’t work out. I don’t socialize with anyone. And I usually have to eat out for lunch on Monday because I don’t make my lunch the night before.
Basically on Sundays, I do nothing…
While I honestly believe that everyone should have a lazy day to themselves I simply can’t shake the feeling that I should be doing something. I work all week, usually have things scheduled on Friday and Saturday, so why can’t I have one day to myself where I do nothing?
Why do I feel so guilty about not doing anything for a day? Why I can’t let myself completely relax and just quiet my mind? Just when I am about to let myself go and allow myself to put my daily responsibilities to the back of my mind, the anxiety monster rears its ugly head. I try to ignore it and usually can remain lounging on the couch for the rest of the evening, but then it sets up for a difficult Monday. Since I did nothing the day before I sometimes wake up Monday morning feeling guilty and like I am the laziest person ever. My brain screams at me: Why did I just waste a whole day?